For some random reason, you have the vicar coming to visit, and if The Simpsons have taught us anything, he’s not a normal house guest. He’s the vicar!
So what do you need to do to bring your house up to scratch? Check the our “Vicar coming to visit” checklist, to make sure everything is done.
- Give the place a quick clean. Actually quite nice to do this anyway.
- Open a Bible, leave it open somewhere.
- Christian music. Something recognizable, Graham Kendrick would probably do.
- Christian music not option? Stick something gentle on in the background. Classic FM would do.
- Hide the Harry Potter DVDs.
- Hide the empty wine / beer / vodka / whiskey / miscellaneous alcohol bottles. If needed, try selling them.
- Get out the nice biscuits
- Make sure the book shelf has the “Christian” books at eye level.
- No Christian books? Put some nice cookery books on eye level. Maybe put “50 shades of Grey” to one side.
- Put a calendar in your lounge, circle each Sunday, and (if they’re released) mark the sermon titles with Bible verses.
Taken from The Church Sofa